Why Going "Cold Turkey" Doesn't Work

No matter what bad habit you're trying to break -- over-eating, over-spending, even smoking -- going "cold turkey" may be just setting yourself up for failure. How could such good intentions end up going so wrong?

"Cold turkey" -- stopping your bad habits "cold" -- is problematic because it subscribes to the Perfectionist Fallacy. Following the Perfectionist Fallacy sets you up for failure because perfectionism doesn't square away with reality. Nothing is 100% perfect. You can never be 100% perfect. While there is nothing wrong with creating lofty goals for yourself, absolute perfection cannot be achieved.

So say you make a pact with yourself to quit soft-drinks "cold turkey." You've made the decision to never touch another Dr. Pepper to your lips ever again for the rest of your existence. And so you dutifully snub soda for water or seltzer or juice...until the day comes that, for whatever reason, you "fall off the wagon."

Now, you didn't break your soda "fast" because you decided it wasn't important anymore. You still want to stay on the diet. But you just found yourself in an Atypical Situation and then, in that particular instance, broke your routine.

Atypical Situations come in two flavors:

1) Environmental
In the case of the soda-quitter, you were in a special environment -- car trip, birthday party, island castaway -- and drinking the forbidden beverage was your "only" option. Maybe you didn't want to insult your hosts, or was really thirsty and it was truly the only thing available. You don't normally drink soda anymore -- you quit, after all, and for good reason -- but just in this specific instance you've done something different.

2) Emotional
Say you've had a really terrible, stressful day and you need the "comfort food" quality of a bottle of pop to buffer your sad emotions. Or, in the opposite direction, say you've had a really great day -- a promotion at work perhaps, or maybe it's your birthday. Maybe you just want to reward yourself.

Ideally, when faced with an Atypical Situation, the best course of action is to resist temptation. But lovingly accepting yourself as a card-carrying member of the human race means accepting that once in a while you might backslide.

And when that time comes, and you give in to your urge to drink soda or eat a cupcake or buy a clown sweater you don't need from Home Shopping network, the "cold turkey" approach might just be your downfall. Because you may feel that by "messing up" this one time, you've invalidated all those weeks and months of discipline -- and might as well give up anyway.

Before you know it, you've fallen prey to the Perfectionist Fallacy -- and now not only do you quit your diet (or other self-disciplinary effort), but you are less likely to even attempt it again.

Whereas if you are kind to yourself -- understanding that a 100% perfection rate is not a realistic goal -- you can forgive yourself for being caught up in an Atypical Situation and GET BACK TO YOUR GOAL.

The key to the long-term "kicking" of an addiction is not to give up just because you "screwed up" once or twice. It's about having that slice of birthday cake. It's about allowing yourself to go off your budget and buy that nice dress to celebrate your promotion. It's about trusting yourself, not depriving yourself.

FOCUS ON SELF-TRUST, NOT DEPRIVATION!

Note: there will be certain issues where your doctor or counselor strongly advises against ever going off your self-disciplinary goals. Maybe it's a very strict diet for health reasons. Maybe you've got a problem with alcohol or drugs. In these cases, you should always listen to health professionals. But I've seen too many examples of persons in these situations give up after one "screw up" -- and such a course of events can be devastating.